Do you ever wonder if there is any value of enduring a toxic relationship with a narcissist? I believe there is a gift for us in every situation. Suffering can enlighten us tremendously and speed up our evolution.
How you may ask? It may be challenging but I ask you to read on and ponder over the typical narcissistic scenarios.
Key to dealing with a narcissist is being true to ourselves. For those of us who have lived closely with a narcissist we have had to be false to ourselves.
We learned early on in childhood that it was not safe to feel or express our emotions, or even to think our own thoughts. We never got a chance to develop a real sense of self.
The narcissist was so controlling and dominant that deep inside we feel inadequate and worthless. We were robbed of vital opportunities to develop our unique and creative gifts.
We had to put aside our talents and dreams to spend excessive amounts of time and energy on validating the narcissist importance and view of reality.
People who have lived with a narcissist are trapped in the role of the obedient child. We feel uncomfortable activating our individuality, being assertive or showing initiative because the narcissist was always right, we were always wrong, and they knew everything. So we retreated into resentful silence.
Ultimately we must ask ourselves how far down we are willing to travel with a narcissist in our lives. Relationships with a narcissist tend to always end badly. But sometimes we must sacrifice losing their presence in our life so we can truly live our own.
After enduing years of emotional abandonment, chronic deception, mind games, degradation, dominance and psychological coldness we have experienced a painful contrast. We now know EXACTLY what we don't want, and won't allow anymore!
This takes courage and self confidence. It also takes respect for yourself and your needs.
The gift of the narcissist is an invitation for us to become more authentic, to truly know ourselves, and to seek spiritual awareness.
We need to stand firm, remain psychologically grounded, be calm and unshakable throughout any of their dramatic emotional explosions.
Because they expect an emotional reaction from us, for us to endure the roller coaster ride psychologically intact, we have to develop mindfulness. Mindfulness is a fantastic skill for everybody but for those dealing with a narcissist, mindfulness becomes a necessary survival skill.
When you've lived a life under the shadow of someone that dominant, you yearn to find peace in a reality that is without delusion. Things become very clear for you. You develop an intolerance for deception of any kind.
The narcissist drives you to seek the truth, to peel of your masks of all the false selves you had to wear for them, and to embrace the loving force that you've always known existed deep in your heart.
Iv learnt that following a spiritual path nurtures my empathetic qualities and this is of utmost importance to me now.
After years of my kindheartedness and empathy being manipulated I've learnt to have compassion for myself and to forgive myself. I have developed an acute sense of knowing what relationships are empowering for me, and which ones I need to end immediately.
Also, after years of submission I now have a strong and unwavering voice. I have deep love and sensitivity toward others. My intuition and sense of 'knowingness' is steadfast.
By now caring for myself and treating myself like I'm important, I work on acknowledging that my gifts are unique and valuable to the world.
The narcissist in my life sped up my spiritual evolution and awareness. I have the choice to be grateful for that or I have the choice to continue seeing myself as a victim of a narcissist.
Once we can accept that the only person we can change is ourselves, we connect to a tremendous power and freedom. Learning to love ourselves is where everything starts!
For further information ...
How to identify the narcissist in your life...
http://journey-thru-wellness.blogspot.com.au/2015/01/save-your-sanity-identify-narcissist-in.html
My insightful video with empowering tips...
5 Essential Tips: How To Heal From Narcissistic Relationships
www.journeythruwellness.com
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