Do You Recognize These 5 NOT So Obvious Signs Of Abuse?

There is something that too many innocent loving Highly Sensitive People struggle to comprehend. That is, facing the horrific reality that there ARE others who don't see the world through their compassionate eyes. That there are people out there who have no empathy, no regard of other peoples feelings, or conscience.

That's right, welcome to our current society's acceptance, glamorization of narcissistic and abusive behavior. We see it reenacted on TV shows, read about the dramas in magazines, and listen to friends talk endlessly about the same repeated relationship dramas.

Recognizing abuse is something all of us need be aware of. Unfortunately, many of us never had examples of what loving relationships look like.

The abusers behavior seems to be minimized and mostly undetected. Kind hearted and forgiving HSP are lured by their charm and supreme confidence.
They get entangled in their web of deceit and then may spend decades trying to first identify the damage, and then heal from it.


Here are the top 5 signs to look out for if you suspect the person you are involved with may be an abuser:

1. Master manipulator: these people are expert liars, they distort information, concoct stories, are emotionally unclear, tell you one thing one day, then another thing the next day, then when you confront them to clarify it, they don't hesitate to tell you that you must be confused. Struggle to answer simple questions, change the subject, control and manipulate conversation topics that may be important to you.
2. Hostility language: listen to the words they choose to use. They are hostile, nasty, bitter, contentious, hateful, belligerent, spiteful, condescending, make jokes at your expense, argumentative, call you names, imply that you are stupid, unaware, 'not as smart as your sister/their friends', words and conversations are malicious, unkind. 
3. Compulsive Controllers: they control the money, where, how and how much you spend. They control everything from the car keys, phone conversations, where you have dinner, which friends you can see, and what you will be wearing.
4. No awareness or regard for others boundaries: show up on your door step uninvited, call at all hours of the night, go through your personal belongings, constantly interrupt conversations. Your private time or space with total disregard. The read your emails, check your texts, are unapologetic when caught.
5. Irresponsible: blame their ex, the government, their boss, their mother, and childhood. Play the victim card exceptionally well, look for pity and sympathy. Tinds it extremely difficult to apologize or be introspective, never takes responsibility for poorly chosen words that may have hurt you but accuses you of being 'too sensitive'. May use terms such as "look at what you made me do", buys gifts as a way of compensating for their bad behavior.

 
Many of us HSP have spent years in therapy, because of the psychological abuse we endured by people who should be in therapy to begin with!
So be alert to these repetitive behaviors. There is a pattern that abusers follow. These behaviors do not constitute for happy relationships.

This is a world of contrast. Despite what a low self esteem might tell us, we DO have choices. We won't survive wearing our colored glasses and will be taken advantage of if we don't wake up.

Relationships with abusers are confusing, unsettling, extreme (some, initially may say 'exciting'), and almost always begin as risky, or on inappropriate, unclear grounds.

It's the kind hearted HSP that are easily deceived. Its the loving people who are too quick to forgive repetitive toxic behavior.
This is how abusers hide and continue hurting others. The gentle hearted often don't have the confidence to confront them due to the years of belittling they endured at the hands of the abuser.

By walking away and cutting our ties, we take our power back. Recognize that your attention, minimization, forgiveness, tolerance, excusing of and DENIAL perpetuates this cycle. Don't become an enabler!

This is what abusers feed off, your naivete and inability to CLEARLY IDENTIFY that their behavior is destructive.

Be aware of the above mentioned signs. You do deserve better.

Calmly confront the person at the earliest moment you become aware. If your reality is not validated but instead distorted, minimized or taken in a repetitive defensive manner, then that is your answer.

I wish this information was available to me years ago. I only hope to shine a light and clarify what constitutes abuse.

More HSP need to become aware of what is acceptable, and what is not.

Most of us unfortunately were told to be 'nice', we weren't told to speak up, it was never verbalized in our families what is inappropriate.

Let's start with our adult relationships now. If not for our sake, for the sake of our children so they don't experience what too many of us have.
I hope you found this topic informative and share it with people you care for that may need a wake up call. Awareness is always the first step!

Watch Top 5 Signs Of Obscure Abuse: HSP & Narcissists video series here!

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