Illuminating Self Love: 5 Vital Questions We All Need To Ask

The concept of self love is foreign to most of us, especially women who have traditionally been the care takers for generations. This particular blog was prompted by some challenges I recently have been facing regarding this very topic.

Personally, it has been very confronting to consider self love. How do I love me? How do I look after me? How do I show others how to care for me, what's acceptable? What are my preferences, what are my limitations?

I was recently immobilized by a health crisis that brought this very important issue to the surface. I interpreted this as the Universe's way telling me to completely stop. Cease doing. Just BE.

I had to learn to ask, learn to receive, and feel deserving of all the support that I actually had. I had to become comfortable with this feeling of uncomfortability!

In retrospect, it was a seemingly short but intense time of learning, looking at my beleifs about my own self worth, and how much love do I believe I deserve to experience.

Vital Questions To Ask Yourself
So I ask you now to take an internal inventory and ask yourself the following 5 questions regarding self love.

I hope you find this inquiry enlightening, revealing, and that these questions stimulate your conscious consideration.
Just observe your initial reaction, feelings, and self talk:

1. How do you feel, respond when someone gives you a compliment? Do you feel awkward, act ambivalent, are quick to dismiss, or minimize their expression? Can you take a moment, validate that person, and perhaps see this as a gesture of love they are wanting to share with you? Can you fully acknowledge and recognize their truth, that they have glimpsed the true nature of you? And that feels uncomfortable to you because it's not what you believe about yourself? How quick are you to reject being in that vulnerable moment of receiving? If you find it challenging then perhaps just begin to feel their loving intention behind the words.
   
    
2. Have you set aside a special regular time, a ritual that makes you feel good about being in your body? A monthly massage? 10 minutes in the morning in meditation, appreciating all that you are, all that you have been blessed with? How about, a regular green juice that you know nourishes you and makes you feel good? Do you pay an extra $5 for the organic option on a menu because its an investment in your physical wellbeing? Do you devote regular time to be alone, sitting and being, perhaps journalling? Do you limit your time around people that drain you energetically?
   
   
3. Are you able to lovingly assert yourself? Set boundaries on what you will and won't do? Can you be firm with your decisions? Your "no" meaning "no", without justifying, explaining or guilt?
4. Do you recognize and appreciate your uniqueness? Or, do feel guilty because you struggle to conform to society's version of 'normal'? Is your life, work, and relationships based on your personal preferences? Or do you politely go along with the crowd, your family, or religion not wanting to cause waves or feel rejected? 
5. Are you critical of your physical appearance? Your level of education? Where you are in life right now? Do you berate yourself and compare yourself to others? Are you quick to find faults and your inner self talk is very judgmental? Do you walk around feeling not good enough?
   

What If You ARE Enough?
I truly believe that self love is the experience of total self acceptance. We keep living our lives as if "one day in the future we will be perfect and then...". This is a false premise. This is not conducive of self love.

We don't have to be something more. We are enough. Right this moment.

It's time that we begin to consciously hear how we speak to ourselves. To learn to be more gentle, loving, forgiving, and accepting.

Self love implies that we are enough, we are lovable just as we are. Not once we lose 10 kilos, once we get that promotion, once we've whitened our teeth more, or finished our degree.

Effects Of Self Love
I'm also suspecting that the more we love ourselves, the more people will feel loved by us.

Aren't we all drawn to loving people? Accepting, patient, kind, non judgmental, these are all such attractive qualities! Can we express these to ourselves?

I certainly admit that I may have a long way to go, that I've just began learning consciously about what it means to love ME.

But I've definitely grasped the importance of if. And am humbly conceding that I hid behind my busy life, self imposed obligations, and imagined expectations for far too long.

We are all evolving at our own unique pace. We are undoubtedly deserving of our own attention and nurturing. If we don't love ourselves we will forever be seeking, expecting it from external sources.

We need to embody love, choose loving thoughts because the way we speak to ourselves matters. Express loving behaviors and start living more from that space of awareness. It all starts when we love ourselves enough, first...

Please feel free to subscribe to my blogs and Youtube channel. I value your comments, suggestions, and feedback about your experiences regarding this topic..
 
https://www.youtube.com/user/journeythruwellness